Let’s talk toasters – A visit to Grand Forks, BC – In style

The space was described in these words: “A brand new apartment in the heart of Grand Forks. Modern, New York style decor on the main downtown street. Enjoy the small town living in a big city space. Located behind the Wooden Spoon and Fresh Tracks Outdoors Club, this cozy secret hideout has a beautifully decorated one bedroom living space with a modern kitchen and living room.” The description was accurate and the décor emphatic. And the highlight of it all, was the toaster.

I have used toasters for much of my life. I have thought that “a toaster is a toaster” – no more, no less. But I was wrong, and this was some toaster. It was powerful, elegant, efficiently engineered, ergonomically brilliant, photographically appealing, sensational. As I watched it process my breakfast it shrieked at me “cool, fifties, sophisticated” all of these powerfully played out in a secretive downtown Grand Forks location.

If you are not family with SMEG toasters check out their webpages. Their products are beautiful to behold, though they are much more than visually attractive. “SMEG is an Italian home appliance manufacturer based in Guastalla, near Reggio Emilia, in the northern Italian region of Emilia-Romagna.    

This model boasts 6 browning levels, and a bagel function. SMEG toasters are built to accommodate your tastes. The automatic pop-up system, and a removable crumb tray will make your life easier-than-ever. This machine will change your life. With three base models, features include Iconic design, wide slots, a bagel friendly environment, a multi-function interface, rack accessories, automatic centering racks, a defrost function, 2000 W of power, a stainless steel crumb tray, and the appeal of a retro 1950s lifestyle.

Regarding the lifestyle claim, I was immediately reminded of my late father-in-law’s 1957 Oldsmobile which he loving restored some years ago. The colour was almost identical to the toaster. The 1957 Oldsmobile Super 88 was a “consistently good-selling medium-priced car known for innovation. If a little heavy in street form, the 57 could still go fast with an engine option called J-2. At 300 hp, it was enormous power in 1957. Available on any model for just $83, the J-2 included a trio of two-barrel carburetors, plus higher compression and low-restriction air cleaner to take the 371 “Rocket” V8 from 277 stock hp to 300 . . . good for 0-60 mph in under 8 seconds. And no seat belts!

See, the two product descriptions are almost identical. Looks and performance combine well to delight the discerning owner, who could eat toast while drag racing. Just sayin’.

Getting back to toast, I recall some years ago going in to Victoria’s ABC Electric where I learned, in considerable detail, about the science of making toast. The business itself has now closed, but the conversation continues. A visit to New Zealand’s Consumer.org helps me understand a very complex process:

“There’s an international standard when it comes to “perfect” toast. There is an ideal ratio of outside crunchiness to inner softness, 12:1. Such a “golden mean” is accomplished by toasting a 14mm-thick slice of seeded loaf (taken straight from the fridge) for 216 seconds, with a 900W toaster’s brownness dial set to five out of six for an optimum element temperature of 154°C. Who knew? Additionally, it is recommended that to prevent toast from turning soggy, you first warm the plate to 45°C, as that minimizes condensation. Good science requires goo process. Noted.

More abstractly, at least for me, it is good to know that ‘when things heat up, the Maillard reaction (The Maillard reaction (/maɪˈjɑːr/my-YAR) a chemical reaction between amino acids and reducing sugars that gives browned food its distinctive flavor) kicks in, enabling certain sugars and proteins in the bread to bond. New molecules are formed, and they in turn join forces, creating increasingly complex compounds. It’s this interplay that creates the mouth-watering aroma and golden goodness we associate with toast.”

All this bonding, all the molecular transformation, all this pre-mastication interplay, is unfolding in my local toaster, good-looking or not. I am nothing short of gob-smacked. Our world is more complex than I initially appreciated. Such ignorance is of course true throughout the cosmos. Yet it’s good to know that we are surrounded my miracles and that we must not take the natural and technological world for granted.

Off for breakfast now. Peanut Butter . . . and toast.