1In those days BonnieHenry (note single word, just like CharlieBrown) issued a decree that all should be vaccinated. (This was not the first vaccination as two others preceded it, but the latest booster remains the best plan for safety, security and stability). 2All this took place while John was Premier of BC, Justin Prime Minister of Canada, Mary the much-improved Governor General and Boris, Prime Minister of the formerlyα “United” Kingdom.
3And everyone went to their local health authority, drug store, or parking-lot pharmaceutical pimp to register. This however was easier said than done, as websites crashed, wait times for phone inquiries lengthened and the advice kept changing due to shifting circumstances, staffing level difficultiesβ and of course (this is BC after all) snow, which continues to fall “snow on snow.”
4So Juno also went up from the town of Kelowna in the Okanagan to Kamloops, the town of Ken and Kathie, because she belonged to the house and line of Batchelorγ. 5 She went there to register with Murphy, who was playmate (not that kind of playmate!) but as she was spayed, definitely not expecting a puppy. 6 While they were there, the time came for many puppies to be born–happens everywhere it seems–the world is crowded already—do we still need more? Anyway, the town was busy and there was no space in the doghouse (as Ken spends a lot of time in there it seems).
8 And there were Doodles of all sizes, shapes and colours (with their humans) living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over birds, marmots and all kinds of small animals, throughout the day and night.
9 An Uber-doodleδ appeared to them, and glory shone around them; they were however terrified and ran off to do what doodles do when they are scared. 10 But the Uber-doodle said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for everyone.
11 The vaccines will reduce hospital and ICU over-crowding; gyms will re-open; Netflix will increase its production of Hallmark Holiday Classics; dog park attendance will continue unabated; COVID conspiracy theorists will see the true light; Biden’s climate plan will eventually build back better; the 50-year-old son of the father will embrace proportional representation; The Leafs will make it to the playoffs; Bond is now BIPOC.
12 This will be a sign to you: You will find doodles running and jumping, nuzzling and swiping, cavorting and enriching the lives of all who dare to run with them.
13 Suddenly a great company of doodles appeared from nowhere and everywhere barking (and you though Dalmatians were the only barkers). There was chaos, there was pandemoniumο, there was joy 14 and on earth peace to those on whom such favour rests.”
Here Juno’s story ends—for now.
α In most MS time stamp is uncertain
β Later versions add and lack of access to COVID testing
γ Not the Batchelor of the hills or heights, but of Les and Esme
δ Meaning unclear; not however the mobile service provider in the sharing economy
ο Some sources, Pandemic, cf. Gray, 2021