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Onepicnowords – Pixabay
A 2015 special feature from Leslie & Kay, founders of grandparentslink.com
Coming of age in the early 1970s I remember listening to Art Linkletter who through his internationally syndicated show Links Little One’s shared (some say exploited) the impetuous comments from younger children for radio and television audiences. The comments below, supposedly from grandchildren to their elders, is similarly entertaining.
• A grandmother was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.
• My young grandson called the other day to wish me “Happy Birthday”. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, “80”. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
• After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”
• My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and replied, “No, how are we alike?” “You both are old”, he replied.
• A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?”, he asked. “I don’t know”, she replied. “I can’t read.”
• I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!”
• A second-grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said. “How do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
• A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back”, said one child. “No”, said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. “You’re both wrong . . . they use the dogs”, she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”
I certainly welcome your own comical stories and similar conversations. Please comment, on WordPress or Facebook. Enjoy.
Take Note - Reflections on life, music, politics, retirement and more by Ken Gray 
When my children were young, their question to grandparents was “Were you alive when the dinosaurs ruled the world?” and their question to me was “Were you alive when the hippies ruled the world?” I do have to admit to the latter being true … and yes, they are all grown up with children of their own and they still tease me regularly about my hippy-ness!
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In our recent production of It’s a Wonderful life the sound effects table included a dial phone. A 28 year-old cast member asked a couple of us old guys? “Di you ever use one of these.” We responded: “yes but it was mounted on the wall.”
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