Drink?

True confession. I am no teetotaler. I enjoy the occasional glass of beer, sometimes a nice gentle Cab Sav, and in quiet moments, a single-malt scotch, and more recently Irish whisky. I enjoy both the taste and the subsequent relaxed feeling that all produce. I will never drink, however, when I am stressed or despairing. Not a good plan.

I am fortunate to have avoided any addiction to alcohol—my personal challenge is food—cheese, and peanut butter; well, bacon, and lots of other stuff—booze, however, is no problem.

But for many, alcohol shapes lives. Poor decision making, avoidance of taking responsibility, a lack of truth-telling, all complicate relationships and diminish the drinking consumer. For some, the affliction or disease occurs 365 days of each and every year, especially at Christmas and New Years.

A recent interview on CBC Kamloops explained the special challenges for drinkers at Christmas. Booze is everywhere, and there is considerable expectation that one should imbibe. So one must persistently resist, or not show up at all. Who wants to arrive at a party and refuse the generosity on offer? That’s rude!

This year, in our little town of Summerland I am amazed to see how many events require some kind of alcoholic consumption. in the weeks prior to Christmas. If I plan an event I keep it alcohol free—no less so because of liability obligations. In my experience, booze is unnecessary. I remember a party my wife threw for me as I turned fifty. She engineered a clever programme of social interactivity—folks had a blast. Two older women passed me at the door on their way out. They said how much fun the evening was. There was so much laughter, and not a drop of alcohol to be found. Do we really need alcohol to build community and have fun together?

In a former parish, alcohol was everywhere at social events. Some people even brought hard liquor in paper bags for their own consumption. No one thought this was odd!? We had folks in recovery telling me that they could not attend such events. I posed the question to parish leaders: “Must we build events around alcohol, or take faith as our foundation.” After considerable conversation over time, the parish council decided to request no alcohol at social events. Some folks were definitely not pleased.

Over the years I have counselled many people dealing with addictions. I am a “friend” of Alcoholics Anonymous and have heard many Step-5 confessions and life-assessments over the years, an important part of the recovery process. If you want to move in a good life direction you must first consider your own  decisions and proclivities. People sometimes ask me if they have a problem? I reply that if you can’t go without alcohol for twenty-four let alone forty-eight hours you need to get some help. And thankfully, help is available, everywhere.

So what to do as the Christmas and New Year season draw nigh?  Here are a few of my thoughts on how to cope and respond:

1. If you don’t want to drink alcohol at a party ask for a soft drink or even water. Then you at least have a drink in your hand. Or simply say to your host “thanks, but no thanks; I’ll pass for now.”
2. If you would like to drink, even a small amount, then plan ahead of time. Arrange to carpool or find a designated driver. Taxi or Uber services are available in most locations. Or walk!
3. If it looks like someone you know is taking unnecessary chances, especially around drinking and driving, open up a conversation as you are able. Remember, there are possible consequences—some very serious—when people make poor decisions around drinking and driving.
4. Further to the above, and this can be sensitive, help a close friend or family member see themselves in a new way. Understand for yourself the difference between the “social drinker” and the person struggling with an addiction.
5. Consider the connection between alcohol consumption and social behaviour. I cannot count the times that persons accused of inappropriate inter-personal behaviour say that they “don’t remember” what they did or said or who they were with. In many cases I believe them. It’s hard te remember what you said, felt, or did while under the influence. I do not excuse their actions, but am increasingly convinced the connection between drink and bad behaviour is real.
6. Raise your voice in the public arena. Support the work of MADD (Mothers against Drunk Driving): Better still, join them in protest. Do this especially in Ontario, where most   alcoholic beverages will soon be available at every convenience store, province-wide—as has been the case in Quebec and most US states for decades. If government and the spirit industry are hungry for more cash from a wider audience that’s one pathetic thing. (There are better ways to manage taxation.) If it’s increased demand from thirsty drinkers, that is more concerning.
7. Finally I am making these points in the middle of BC wine country. We produce some of the finest wines in the world, an industry of which we are justifiably proud. At a recent wine tasting I attended, I asked our presenter about the future of the industry. He admitted that consumption is dropping especially with younger drinkers. Recent guidance on alcohol and health has caught the attention of many. The report raises significant concerns about the negative effects of alcohol on wellness and by implication increased costs for health care service delivery. Long story short, we may have reached peak capacity despite the opening of beer, wine, and cider production facilities locally and elsewhere.

Please take the above suggestions in the “spirit” in which they are offered, with the best of intentions. I am no prohibitionist. The market will self-regulate in response to shifting demand. We now understand so much more about the connection between alcohol and wellness. And we all want to build community together, by putting our best foot forward.

Well if you’ve read this far you probably need some musical relief. So here goes. Roger Whittaker sings the English folk standard: “Drink to me only with thine eyes.” Enjoy.

Happy Christmas and safe holidays to all.