Anything to declare? The Hawkins Cheezies story

This post has been corrected from an earlier version.

Only in Canada you say? That used to refer to Red Rose Tea, whose Canadian brand touted a quality tea product, superior to the favoured English varieties, but only available in Canada. Well move over Red Rose Tea because you now have another exclusively Canadian contender, orange Hawkins Cheezies.

Hawkins Cheezies—that bright orange, more florescent than a backyard carrot—are only available in Canada, and proudly so. I discovered this at a recent funeral where we toasted the deceased with a combination of Scotch and Cheezies, his last earthly wish. Sitting around a reception table I learned of the Hawkins story.

Hawkins Cheezies® is synonymous with wholesome goodness. Natural ingredients and real aged cheddar cheese were the impetus in the development of this purely Canadian icon. W.T. Hawkins Ltd. was founded in small town Ontario from a revolutionary idea first created in the United States. The Hawkins success of today is a natural reflection of this family-based business’ past.

Founding owner, W.T. Hawkins and Jim Marker, who is the actual developer of Cheezies®, had spent years in Chicago in the confectionery industry perfecting their craft. The popularity of the Cheezie brand, a technique of extruding cornmeal into various shapes, cooking them in vegetable shortening and then coating them in aged cheddar cheese, was growing and the expansion of a new enterprise was looming.

Hawkins and Marker decided to head north with their product and soon a Canadian tradition was born. Initially located in Tweed. Almost a decade of growth occurred before tragedy struck. A fire leveled the factory in 1956 and a move to the present-day location in Belleville was quickly made. Now in its 52^nd year, W.T. Hawkins Ltd. is running strong.

Popular opinion agrees with Chateleine magazine that Hawkins Cheezies have a distinct, alarming crunch. They come in endless sizes, from hefty lumps to skinny nibs. Retired plant manager Shirley Woodcox once likened them to snowflakes, because no two are alike.

Wanting to conduct additional market research I contacted an artist friend (blog coming) who lives just north of Belleville, the Hawkin family plant site. I asked if she ate Hawkins Cheezies, and with pleasure. Well who knew that she and her husband had just devoured a bag two hours prior to my inquiry. What greater endorsement do you need—the locals like them; no stories of environmental pollution; no poisoning of local waterways; no manipulation of temporary foreign workers; no union conflict. Hawkins Cheezies is a family business with deep historic roots in the community.

Only in Canada you say! I can only assume that when I next travel south of the Canada-US border, and I am asked if I have “anything to declare” I will shout to the hilltops “I have Hawkins Cheezies; want one?” Maybe I could sell small packets to border service agents, or to unsuspecting residents of Oroville and Omak. Move over Cheetos; shun all imposters. Canada is coming.

Some will likely ask if another Donald Trump presidency might champion the Cheezie. Biden’s democrats were protectionist regarding dairy, auto parts, and I think Cannabis. As such protectionism will likely increase—a necessary way to make America great again—what part might the Cheezie play in restoring the chief to power? True, the colour of Cheezies comes close to that of the former president’s hair. Some cheezies do resemble his body type. He, and Cheezies are likewise adored by many Barbie-figure women. “What’s to love” I ask, or is it the money?

So. anything to declare? There are impersonators out there, easily identified by their consistent, artificial shape, their vacuous texture, and insipid taste. Remember that if you need to start a bonfire, a handful of Hawkins Cheezies will do the trick—it’s the next best thing to chopper fuel.

Accept no substitutes. Take a bow Canada. And thanks to Hawkens Cheezies. You make us proud, each and every day. Bon Appetit.