Queer

It’s a word I use advisedly. As a cis-gender male it feels uncomfortable for me to use the word as I have only encountered it used pejoratively. Many in the Queer community welcome it with, yes, PRIDE.

In conversation with a couple of clergy colleagues recently, I asked if we had read any Queer theology. For the three of us the answer was no. We remain curious however, so I found the post from the Centre for Action and Contemplation on Monday, June 10, 2024 very insightful. Author and filmmaker Cassidy Hall describes coming to embrace her queerness as a path to intimacy with her true self.  For Hall, “Queerness formed a kind of centerpoint for my ever-evolving true self.”

She continues* “Queerness is a place of my own unlimited becoming, and its innate connection to the Divine, nature, and my fellow humans.…

Everyone carries their own true self in their own way, in their own words, and in their own time. And that is also beautifully queer. My true self is the queer way I rest my ear to the chest of a tree, listening for its heartbeat.”

In reading Thomas Merton’s New Seeds of Contemplation some years ago I first learned of the true self and the false self. Discovery of our true self helps us shake off any false illusions about who we are and what we are called to be and become. Cassidy Hall identifies her true self with her gender identity and a special appreciation of her place in creation. Knowledge and self-discovery lead directly to compassion, justice, and activism. She continues:

“My true self is the part of me that shows up at the Indiana statehouse when anti-trans bills are brought to the table, knowing the privilege of my own position as a cis queer white woman and the roles I am called to in communal care. My true self is the part of me that keeps asking questions, stays curious about my own blossoming, and holds myself—and the world—with open hands.”

I remember listening to an interview with one of Canada’s most accomplished pop and country songwriters and singers, k.d. lang. Raised and closeted within a conservative rural Albertan small town community, she came out in 1992 and has long championed amongst other causes, gay rights. I remember how comfortable she looked and sounded “in her own skin.”

I have often wondered why so many 2SLGBTQI+ folks are justice advocates? Well think about it; if you struggle with core issues of identity, including sexuality, you inevitably become aware of other clashes with culture, history, and social expectation. You are bound—and well equipped—to pursue all manner of justice concerns.

The late Roman Catholic Liturgist Robert Hovda addressed Integrity USA with a simple message: Don’t seek justice solely for yourselves and other gay people; seek justice for all. Where justice is sought, social realities and individual concerns collide, wonderfully. Hall describes the healing that took place as she learned to accept her body and identity:

“As the years passed, I began stripping away my beliefs about myself from these broken expectations and witnessed a significant change. My body, my existence, my identity began to feel more magical, alive, and queer. I continued to release ideas of myself related to society’s expectations, and I began caring far more about what feels like me—what resonates and reverberates with the ground of my being, what rhythms are in sync with my body.”

Regardless of our sexuality, and the way we choose to identify and share ourselves with others, there is a rich journey available to us all. May discovery of our true self bring freedom, joy, and a deeper sense of vocation to us all.

*Cassidy Hall does not list her preferred pronouns. Some within the Queer community prefer not to do so.

Quotes from Cassidy Hall, Queering Contemplation: Finding Queerness in the Roots and Future of Contemplative Spirituality (Minneapolis, MN: Broadleaf Books, 2024), 103, 106–107.

Image credit and inspiration: Nina Hill, untitled (detail), 2020, photo, Unsplash. Click here to enlarge image. The connective energy of human touch, entwining our hands and our hearts. We are not alone.