Bear, or Berra? – Juno is curious

Labradoodle Juno is a popular dog-blogger living in Summerland BC with her MaPaw and PaPaw, Ken and Kathie Gray

“What was your name again?” Juno asked.

“Yogi.”

“That’s an unusual name. Reminds me of Yogi Bear, you know, Yellowstone Park and all that—don’t burn the forest down—a Saturday morning cartoon character.”

“No I am not Yogi Bear, but I am a character, or so some folks say—others call me a legend.”

“A legend? What kind of legend? Like an outlaw, holds up banks, that sort of thing. The next Willie Sutton?”

“No I have never robbed a bank. I have only stolen bases, in Major League Baseball. If you must know, I am a sports legend. And my last name is not “bear,” but Berra. Yogi Berra—two ‘r’s in my last name, and in the first, born Lorenzo Pietro Berra, from which someone came up with Yogi; heaven knows why, and “heaven” hasn’t told me. And no, I have never visited Montanna or Idaho. Ya happy now?”

“Wow, a sports hero. If you are indeed legendary we could sure use you in Toronto right now. Our Jays’ offense sucks; it’s discouraging our pitching staff which for the record is great right now. Not so for the batting however; and our standing of 15 wins and 17 losses is at the very least, discouraging, if not outright mediocre. Anyway, now I remember, you’re a catcher, and quite the hitter.”

“If you must know I played 19 seasons in Major League Baseball (MLB) (1946–1963, 1965), all but the last for the New York Yankees. I was an 18-time All-Star and won 10 World Series championships as a player—more than any other player in MLB history.”

Yes I remember now. Yogi had a career batting average of .285, while hitting 358 home runs and 1,430 runs batted in. He is one of only six players to win the American League Most Valuable Player Award three times. He is widely regarded as one of the greatest catchers in baseball history and was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1972.

Man we could use him here in 2024 with our Jays. What didn’t work last season still fails to generate any reasonable offense. As Ben Nicholson-Smith notes, Staying course no longer an option for struggling Blue Jays offence. Right. We’re a mediocre team with a great ball park and a very expensive payroll. Woof. Poop.

“So Yogi, what else are you known for?”

“What’dya mean, what else? Isn’t my record good  enough for you?”

“C’mon now, Joe DiMaggio plugged Mr. Coffee back in the day. What keeps your legend alive?

I knew that Berra quit school after the eighth grade. He was known for his malapropisms as well as pithy and paradoxical statements. Pawpaw found a great list on Facebook, a collection of Yogi-isms. So I dug a little deeper.

“I hear you’re good with words. Sort of dry humour; double entendre, puns, pithy sayings that linger in the head and roll off the tongue.”

“I enjoy talking, and joking, poking fun sometimes.

Sometimes I just say what I see. You’ve heard them I’m sure, if you’ve been listening. In descending order, here’s my top ten:

10. “It’s like deja vu all over again.”

9. “You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”

8. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”

7. “We made too many wrong mistakes.”

6. “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”

5. “You can observe a lot just by watching.”

4. “You should always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”

3. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

2. “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”

1. “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”

“Great list Yogi; insights galore.”

“Juno, I think you are being an ass. Hole in one for humour, NOT.”

“No, I’m serious. And I’m also curious. I wonder if my readers have their own Yogi quotes? Or their own malapropisms. Comment people. Do it now. And now, just  for now, this blog is, indeed, over.”