Pooch Presidential Politics

Politically neutral Juno charges into the 2024 US Presidential/Vice Presidential election

Almost five-year-old Labradoodle, Juno, blogs on politics, pooches, and personalities from her lovely condo home in Summerland BC that she shares with her MaPaw, kathie, and PaPaw, Ken.

I just don’t get it. Here in our little town of Summerland we have struggled to make the Peach Orchard Dog Park permanent, an ambition now accomplished after fourteen years of advocacy. My paw-pals and I can now look forward to unleashed access to our favourite stomping ground for many years to come. Such a good news story!

So imagine my shock when I discovered a very bad news story, a tale of a different person in a different place, jumping from our little Town of Summerland to the brassy United States of America, and another detail in the life of J. D. Vance, Donald Trump’s running mate in the US 2024 presidential/vice-presidential election.

Recently notorious for his attitudes about women, who in his view should simply make babies, and leave the real work of making America great again (MAGA) to the men in their life. [From MSN.com] Our people aren’t having enough children to replace themselves. That should bother us,” Vance told the gathering in Washington. He outlined the obvious concern that Social Security depends on younger workers’ contributions and then said, “We want babies not just because they are economically useful. We want more babies because children are good. And we believe children are good, because we are not sociopaths.

Bluntness aside, the logic is bizarre—He mentions this stuff in public, with a straight face, (definitely straight) and his listeners lap it up, like milk in a cat bowl. Childness cat ladies threaten the economy and the patriarchy. Was this his Harvard law degree thesis? “Cat Ladies and American Political Philosophy: The Legal Case for Patriarchy.” Look for it online; let me know if you find something. Great to know they are not sociopaths, however, though I am not totally convinced; me thinks he doth protest too much.

Now, amazingly, arrogantly, we discover that he doesn’t like pets of any sort—who doesn’t like pets—a handful maybe who may hold bad memories from childhood (did Vance have a dog taken away at twelve years’ old?)­—remember Citizen Kane and “Rosebud”)—but an entire nation? C’mon Jay-dee. I can see it now, arriving from abroad at JFK or O’Hare. “Anything to declare” a grim-faced security agent demands, about pets. “Are you bringing a pet into the country?” (Trick border guard question—”What is the name of your favourite pet”—gotcha—back you go.)

In a piece on salon.com we discover how Vance joins colleagues such as Project 2025’s Kevin Roberts who spits venom at dog parks, which he sees as a decadent concession to those he believes won’t “give up childish things, and live in the real world” by having kids. Better share this info with swing state voters. Get this on latenight TV—go for it Stephen Colbert. Create more memes folks; we’re running a bit dry right now.

[Back to Kevin Roberts] Dog parks are a result of “the antifamily culture shaping legislation, regulation, and enforcement throughout our sprawling government,” he snarls. Anti-family culture? Tell that to the kids who love bringing John, Paul, George, and Ringo to the dog park. Tell that to parents and grandparents who make the dog park the highlight of their day.

While Vance views our feline friends as a medieval witch-hunter would — as a sign that a woman is dangerously independent and therefore evil — dog owners should not feel safe from the ire of Vance and his friends in the uterus-obsessed MAGA movement. Them’s fighting words I must say. And I’m up for a fight.