Meet my friend, Ruth

To those of you who already know Ruth, you know what is wrong with this picture.

To those of you who do not know her, you need to understand that Ruth is typically NOT the one eating, but more likely the one preparing and setting out the food.

She is an extroverted personality who loves to welcome, serve, and entertain guests from literally all over the world. From her spacious log-cabin home on the West Coast of Vancouver Island she and her late husband, Rene, have entertained refugees, students, neighbours, activists, Indigenous leaders, musicians, scholars, politicians, and literally hundreds of persons in need, or with special interests over many years.

She is such a gracious, inviting, and socially curious host. And I speak as one frequently invited to conversation, learning, and an experience of beauty for both work and pleasure.

I remember the first time that Ruth walked into my office at the Church of the Advent in Colwood sometime during 2010 or later. I cannot recall the exact purpose of her visit, though it definitely related to the work of Aboriginal Neighbours, a group whose history I am now writing. We likely talked about an event — a Blanket Exercise — that AbN would assist us in hosting. Possibly she described the forthcoming 2012 Truth and Reconciliation Vancouver Island Regional Meeting. Maybe she explained the process of Indigenous language restoration, a project she has supported for a long period of time. Whatever we discussed, I took an immediate liking to her and said so at the time. Then, and now, there is something amazingly winsome about Ruth.

While short in height, her memory is long, and her passion for justice in Indigenous/settler relations is huge. Always curious about why people do what they do, I recently asked her about her motivations. “You don’t wear your heart on your sleeve and you don’t get sick. You just keep going,” she says. And this she does, even when facing obstacles, including health challenges.

At 87, her mind is as sharp as ever; her energy seems inexhaustible, though she does notably slow down later in the day. She recalls an earlier time in her life when she couldn’t even brush her teeth, needing to hold her head in her hands. Sometimes she would sleep around the clock and awake still exhausted. Through a decade of poor health she was advised to quit work altogether. A Vancouver rheumatologist advised otherwise: “There’s no evidence to show that quitting work will help. In fact, it could make you very depressed.” So she worked during the week, and crashed on weekends, for years. You would not sense any of this looking at her now.

Ruth’s father’s family was of tough stock from the Isle of Man off the coast of England. Her mother’s family was from Ireland. She was born in Liverpool  on “Munich Day,” the day that UK Prime Minister Chamberlain came back from Munich and said there will be “peace in our time.” That didn’t go well.

She grew up in a very evangelical kind of house. Names such as Wilberforce and  Grenfell were revered and honoured around the dinner table. To this day she remains fascinated by the lives of others: “I remember as a kid standing on the pier on the River Mersey, where the ferry goes across, and we would go and visit my grandmother. You could see the big circles, the chains where the slaves had been tethered. I never forgot that. My first doll was a Black doll. I don’t know why. No idea why.”

Her curiosity affected her professional life as a teacher: “I loved teaching. In grade four or five, in those days, the curriculum was the ‘Indians of Canada.’ I loved the stories, the idea of the cedar, and its use here, and the birch bark out east, and on the prairies, the buffalo. Sure, it was all idealized,  and to me, fascinating. Our family came to North Vancouver during World War Two when we first encountered the First Nations along the Burrard Inlet. Returning to North Vancouver in 1964, I used to drive out to Deep Cove through their reserve and see their huge canoes, long, long canoes. I was always interested.”

I concluded our recent visit asking Ruth why she (and others) invited me to take this project on. “I feel it’s really important that the story of Aboriginal neighbors be told. I am concerned that the work that has been done is now being forgotten. The work needs to carry on in some manner. I’m passionate about that. And I needed someone to write. You know so many of the players, at least on the settler side of the equation.”

I remain grateful for Ruth’s confidence in my ability, and in my high level of commitment to this task. I shall do my best, inspired by Ruth and all the leaders I continue to meet along the way. Watch this space for good things to come.

And Thank You Ruth for getting things started.

Ken

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